When life gives you singleness…

...

...get with an atheist?

Just so I'm not misunderstood, I just want to clarify that I have no problem with atheists or singleness; I would just rather not be in intimate, marital relationship with either.

Why not? Well I don't want to have to have to compromise on the belief system taught to our children (that Jesus Christ is God and that He loves us dearly and calls us into individual relationship with Him) nor do I want to take a different plus one to every wedding I attend for the rest.of.my.life.

So firstly, I have to stop dating atheists. Even if they are fit. Literally, so fit. And especially non-committal atheists who do nothing to build me - or us - up. (Sorry babe.)

Readers of this blog will know that I'm queen of TMI but this is one area on which I've kept quiet for a while. Relationships. It's a hard one to discuss without sounding either smug or desperate. I'm pretty confident that I'm neither so please bear with me while reading this as let's be honest, it's still a bit...cringe.

Assuming I'm not the only Christian woman who can (in a non-smug way obvs) call herself smart, fairly attractive, funny, kind, loving and all those good things, it's hard to pin down why so many of my fellow ladies remain single - and not out of choice.

Is there a shortage of men who:

a) Want to get married?

b) Want to have children?

c) Have the same basic belief system (see above)?

Personally, I don't think I'm asking for much (although for the full list see my blog post entitled "10 Things I Wouldn't Hate About You") and I've had time since the divorce to work on myself and to know what I have to offer (cos apparently it's a two-way thing) so it's frustrating - and downright scary if I'm honest - to imagine a life stretched out in front of me without anyone to share it intimately with.

Don't get me wrong, women should never be defined by their children, ability to have children or their life partners. But when we are sidelined by the absence of those things, when it is such a burning desire, the heart takes a beating and the fallout can be pretty intense.

If I'm honest I don't really get the whole let's have fun staying single thing. I really want to get it; but I just don't. I don't want to embrace either celibacy or casual sex or other apparent "freedoms" and while I am totally loving life right now, that's because of who life is shaping me into, not because of my current relationship status.

I just want someone to share the world with, and for that person to want to share the world with me.

I was chatting this through with one of our guests last night - and she is a hottie - and we've come to the conclusion that we're in some sort of societal crisis. What is society doing to redress this balance of girl wanting to be with guy versus guy wanting to be with lots of girls? What is the wider Church doing to address the staggering lack of men in congregations worldwide?

And on a personal level I guess, you may well ask what am I doing to help my own situation? Well I've done online dating (over it), app dating (over it),speed dating (over it), I'm trying not to be judgmental and...I'm sticking with AP, because well, you never know when the time will come. #StayReady

So what do you think?

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