Sex, Lies and Virginity…

... not the name of my new book. But it could be. If it were, would the title make you want to read it? We live in a world 'obsessed with sex'. The media tells us that 'sex sells'. Apparently the average teenage boy thinks about sex every seven seconds. Given that most boys tend to act before they think, let's hope this isn't strictly true...

Most people - Christians and non-Christians alike - have some interest in sex. They may be
having sex, watching it, thinking about it or trying to find a creative way to do it without really doing it and then they can maintain that they didn't do it. :)
Personally, I love sex. With my husband. As a Christian I believe that God created it so hey, what's not to love?!

But what about the word 'sexy'? How do you feel about that word? Is it wrong for Christians to be sexy?
What about certain jobs involving
various states of undress which are likely to (but not always intended to) attract the
opposite sex and guaranteed to
involve some sort of 'sexiness'?

these random things cross my mind and
I wanted to know how you feel
about the following:

A) A Christian burlesque dancer - can there be such thing? should there be?
B) A Christian underwear model - same qs as above apply ;)

So Christians
and non-Christians alike...what do you think??

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  • 9 responses to “Sex, Lies and Virginity…”

    1. Yeah dressing with the intention of causing someone to lust is a no no I agree with that.
      But have you seeeen what some kids (16-21) wear to church these days?!? Back to the old school rule of knee length skirts or longer and no tight/see thru tops in church please!

      BUT I love it when my husband sees me out (like after work) and tells me how sexy I look so I don't have a problem with that word when its attributed to me (from him obviously haha!)

      Thanks for commenting everyone!x

    2. msluffa says:

      interesting. the same way wearing a pair of heels makes you walk and feel different (sexy, womanly?)certain underware make you feel very sexy and attractive.

      Like you, i love sex, i think about it a lot, and I look forward to it almost every night. Sex is a beautiful thing. But it can easily turn ugly or at least lead to ugly situation.

      As a christian, it's important for me to look attractive. The way i dress reflects my mood and feeling, but i'm always careful not to dress too sexy.

      My rule is – if you can't wear it to church, then don't wear it at all. I struggle with this personal rule, but it works.

      the word sexy i think, connotates lewdness and lasciviciousness. If it'll cause someone to lust after me or my body parts (eeww) then perhaps it's best to just leave it.

    3. Caroline says:

      I like that comment Bev!! Wonder how big the cookies were lol 🙂

    4. bev says:

      I think spending too much time worrying about your appearance to men is not much fun: Christian or not Christian(speaking as someone who isn't religious!) Much more fun to look after yourself, wear what you want to wear and treat yourself to nice things for your sake, not anyone else's!

      I think burlesque in its original and truest form isn't supposed to be titillating; but most modern interpretations do have an undeniable sexual undertone… Tricky one. The rationalist and slightly argumentative part of my head is saying 'it's just a being a dancer, it's not sexual entertainment per se so why can't you be religious and be a burlesque dancer?' But I can see why a Christian woman would be uncomfortable with it.
      Anyway – as an aside, I googled 'christian burlesqe dancing' to see what came up – it sent me to a site which noted all the 'non christian' elements from the film Burlesque – my favourite is this: "implied full male nudity although man is strategically covered by furniture and a box of cookies".

    5. Not heard of that book, thanks will have a search for it!

    6. Caroline says:

      I think this is a really interesting dilemma as a Christian. Is it wrong for Christians to be sexy?
      I believe that God created us to have joy in finding the opposite sex attractive and to enjoy sex as part of a marriage relationship. But the balance is difficult (I find at least) between taking care of my appearance and being attractive to men but finding my identity in Christ and focusing mainly on how pleased he is with me. I find that when I focus on my appearance and how attractive I am to men I start to ignore God and put my hopes and faith in men. But I think the other way is wrong too – Christian women finding the whole dilemma difficult and therefore giving up looking after themselves and maintaining their appearance and focusing soley on the spiritual inner woman rather than the physical outer woman.
      I think that if we as women understand how God loves us we will naturally want to look after ourselves and take care of our bodies so that is the way that I am trying to live. I found the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge really helpful in figuring out how to live as a Christian woman – don't know if anyone else has read that or found it helpful?

    7. I agree with Bev about a Christian underwear model being OK. But a Christian burlesque dancer? Isn't burlesque dancing aimed at tittilating men in the audience who are there to be entertained and turned on by the seductive dancing?

      I think its a no-no because it is offering sexual entertainment on purpose rather than providing a clothing service that has unintentional sexual aspects, like an underwear model.

    8. bev says:


      So – the model question. I don’t think that being an underwear model is necessarily sexual (i am assuming this is your kinda M&S style as opposed to Ann Summers). Women’s fashion is aimed at women (leaving the gay angle aside here), not at titillating men, and a woman has a right to look at and buy clothes without having to consider the sexual element… Obviously pictures of an underwear clad woman will be viewed sexually by some people, but you can’t really help it. Avoiding exposing any skin for the fear of provoking an untimely sweat in a man is on the same spectrum as the idea that skimpily dressed rape victims are ‘asking for it’ based on how they dress…. (admittedly a bit further down the spectrum but the point stands!). If a Christian woman feels comfortable in the outfit, then why not? Should Christian women not be allowed to wear bikinis in public? Not get changed at the gym? Have to wear burkas?

    9. Anonymous says:

      Well I guess as a Model who is catholic/Christian and liberal to a degree I fall in that category and I think… Yes there can be such thing, becuase there is already (moi). Mainly depends on how 'literally/strictly' the individual practices their faith and also their perspective regarding modern day society.:D

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