Phenomenal Woman


Song on my mind: Phenomenal Woman by Jene ft. Loon

They try to understand
The essence of Jene’s reign
Phenomenal woman

Putting it down everyday all day
Look at her here she comes
Phenomenal woman
In every sense of the word
A diva seen waiting to be heard

Do u ever wonder why
people will see u as one way but they're not right?
Being that ur fly, u gotta be stuck up, conceited or something else
Look into my eyes coz I wont lie when I tell u that I've been thru it
Those words can never break u, stronger they'll only make u

Those same ones that stay now, will be the same ones that hide
They can be all the way down with you its true

I had to take a look at myself
I knew I couldnt live with no one else
I just had to be me

Look at her here she comes (here she comes)
Phenomenal woman (phenomenal woman)
In every sense of the word
A diva seen waiting to be heard


I may be young but I've gone thru alot in my life
There's been joy there's been pain
Theres been struggle and strife
(And thru it all) I've learnt, I just cant give in
I gotta be stronger than them
Dust myself off and try again

Those same ones that stay now, will be the same ones that hide
They can be all the way down with you its true

I had to take a look in myself
I knew I couldnt live with no-one else
I just had to be me

Look at her here she comes,
Phenomenal woman
In every sense of the word
A diva seen waiting to be heard


They say out of sight out of mind
But J.E.N.E. I cant lie
You bring alot of shine
These deals are running out of town
Coz most of them cant sing and they aint got a dime
You know I aint gotta rhyme
For you I'd go back to the taliban
After the war
Put my money on
And both of my Ballys on
I cant lie you's a phenomenon
Tell me right now
What island you wana get married on

Have you ever walked into a room knowing you look HOT and that every man, woman and babyboy is watching you as you glide through. Your head is held high, your hair is 'did' and your clothes tell the world they were made for you as you stride across the floor?

That's how modelling makes me feel. It's a sense of acceptance and appreciation that I never received when I was younger. I remember being at drama school one time and someone said that I looked like Brandy. (No I really dont but that's not the point!) One of the 'popular girls' looked dismissively at me and then declared, "no she doesnt, Brandy's pretty."
Now I was 13 then, with big doe eyes, gazelle like legs and arms, 'nappy hair' in braids and didnt yet wear make up on my then dark, smooth skin. looking back I was probably a model in the making but to me I was ugly. And that comment hurt. (Obviously, since I still remember it a decade later!)

If you know me on FB you'll know that my tagline (when I'm not being Christ Couture Girl of course), is Black Barbie Dressed in Bvlgari. Not because I've ever worn anything by Bvlgari, except the perfume, but because I like the idea of it. Barbie as the icon, Bvlgari as her style.

I've wanted to be a model since I was about 7. When I was about 3 I won a baby competition in an area dominated by non-Black people (this was the 80s so practically a miracle). At the age of 6, people started commenting on a use for my legs other than as a double for a giraffe at a people circus and when at 10 my aunt told me in her beautiful Chelsea flat that if all I wore was trainers I would get flat feet, I grew 4 inches overnight and have never looked back.

People ask me why I wear heels when "you're already tall enough" but they dont get it. In high heels I'm not just the 'tall one', I'm the model chick with legs up to my armpits and grace in my walk. And I didnt just stop at the heels. I dont like wearing what everyone else is wearing. Most people would probably hate to go to a party or event and see someone else wearing the same outfit. But I dont like to look like everyone else period. Like on a day to day basis. So I do things backwards or differently.

When everyone was being weave queens circa 2004 I was one of the first to have my hair canerowed into a mohican. When people wear wearing coloured net vests over black bras I took the colour scheme one step further and started buying the same shoes in different colours and wearing one on each foot. My latest thing has been my animal print eyeshadow which I matched with my animal print shoes. People call me crazy, wild and downright weird.

But I stand out and that's what I wanted. When you're so different, people cant compare you with anything or anyone and this is what I've always been afraid of. Comparisons.

Afraid my boyfriend will leave me for the next pretty chick, afraid I wont get picked at a casting because someone else's beauty overshadows mine, afraid I wont get the job because the boss doesn't like me... its taken a long time to finally accept ME, like Jene says in this song:

I had to take a look in myself
I knew I couldnt live with no-one else
I just had to be me

When I was a student dancing on tables at clubs or anywhere with a platform, it wasnt because I wanted guys to be attracted to me, I wanted just to be SEEN. I actually think its better for girls to see me because guys these days seem to be attracted to pretty much anything in lycra whereas it takes alot for another girl (who is not a friend) to come up and compliment you on your outfit.

I people watch alot and I love seeing how people put clothes together and create their own style. My boss commented the other day that whereas many women stick to a particular stye of clothing and have a staple diet of garments e.g. Rock Chick, Goth, Preppy, Arty, Top Shop victim or Sean John throwback, my style varies from day to day. I just love clothes and fashion and how different you can look from outfit to outfit. Hence where modelling comes in again. I've worn creations that I thought were hideous (Brick Lane Fashion Show - sorry!) and I've worn a short, sexy shift dress masquerading as a wedding dress (Graduate Fashion Show) that I loved being in.

There are times when I've been late for work because I couldnt find something to wear but have refused to leave the house until I look right. Times when I've been on the phone since 5am, gotten dressed in the dark and gone to work without make up and people have said I look amazing, times when I feel like crap, look crap (no REALLY!) and men have not stopped trying to chat me up and times when I've gone out with friends and spent the whole time miserable and thinking how much better than me they look.

I didnt really make it as a model and I may never know why but I've since learned not to devalue myself with other peoples' opinions. I know I didnt get dumped because I was ugly (except maybe once!), I wasnt not picked for castings because I'm not beautiful enough and I didnt not get the job at Christian Dior because I'm unattractive (I didnt get it because I messed up the interview due to star struck induced nerves!). Now I'm not on the man hunt I dont stress about how I look and actually find more people are drawn to me. People like happy people!

I can go on FB and comment on pictures of models without wishing I looked as good as them. I can see my friends looking gorgeous and tell them without being jealous (and this is really, really hard because trust me, ALL my friends are buff!).

I still think I have a long way to go before beautiful but with what God's given me, being a Phenomenal Woman is fine with me.. ;)

Love and Blessings beautiful people!

CC Girl xx

"Never let someone else's value determine your worth."

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  • One response to “Phenomenal Woman”

    1. You’ve already made it to beautiful honey 🙂

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