Life doesn’t end at the altar…


"How are you finding married life?" is a question I've been asked alot in the few months that we've been married and to be honest, I'm running out of things to say...

It's: Great! Awesome! Fun! Cool! Love it! Amazing! Really good! all of which are popular responses but typically,
a not so popular (but true!) response is: "Pretty hard actually". And I have the most amazing husband in the world (biased, obviously) so I can't begin to imagine how everyone else copes...

Marriage, I'm learning, is alot
like Christianity; neither commitment stops at the altar!
When you 'discover' Christ or decide to follow the way of Christ, it can feel exhilarating and when you get baptised or make a public declaration of your faith there is a sense of achievement and a sense (or knowledge) that a pinnacle has been reached. It's the same with marriage.
You experience the
excitement of an engagement and wedding preparations and then finally the day and then honeymoon; enough to elevate anyone to feeling like they're
on top of the world.

But both relationships take perserverance.
Imagine if you stopped reading your Bible, going to church
and spending time with other Christians? Or stopped making time for you and your husband to just be together? I'd guess alot of that joy would fade away pretty quickly.

Another thing I've noticed is that if I focus on bettering myself, either in being a wife or a Christian, I quickly start to feel lousy about my failings in both. I can't sew so I'm useless when my husband tears his trousers
and I'm not great at telling others about God and why I'm a Christian. But when I focus on the other person in the relationship (God and my Fish), I'm able to pour my energy into meeting their needs (loving others as a Christian and loving my husband the way he needs to be loved) and suddenly I don't feel so bad!

I think both
wives and Christians
put way too much pressure on themselves to be kick-ass superwomen
when we really just need to be us, doing what we
And at the risk of offending hardcore Christians, I will quote well-known atheist Philip Pullman:

"It seems to me the leader of the Church might think it's worth saying: ‘I'm going to follow Jesus and anyone who wants to come with me can follow because this way leads to love and compassion and tolerance. If you don't like it, stay here, but this is the way I'm going.'”

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