There is always a feeling that things are unfair.
Why can't they be different? Does it have to be this way?
Sometimes, as a Christian, I ask what have I been doing wrong? Does this mean my prayers are not working? How do I make a change?

I'm in a very difficult place at the moment. I'm negotiating deep hurt and pain on a daily basis. Quite often I look back and wish I could change the past. Where would I be now? But I can't look back. Like Lot's wife who turned into a pillar of salt when she did (Genesis 19:26), looking back is likely to cause me to be
paralysed. To be unable to take positive steps forward.

Our father in Heaven says he will "never leave you nor forsake you" in more than one book in the Bible (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5) and that nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:38-39). I have grown up with these scriptures. I know them, I believe them. But honestly, it doesn't always feel like that and sometimes I do feel lost and abandoned.

One of my favourite scriptures can be found in Psalm 85:10-12:

Love and faithfulness meet together;
righteousness and peace kiss each other.
Faithfulness springs forth from the earth,
and righteousness looks down from Heaven.
The Lord will indeed give what is good,
and our land will yield its harvest.

I don't have much to hold onto right now, at least nothing here on earth. So all I can do is obey God's instruction to love. To love and to keep faith in my Creator who knew me while I was in my mother's womb and who knows my past and also my future. And as I pray, I ask for His peace. Peace that passeth all understanding (Phillippians 4:7) and I thank Him for His righteousness.

My hope then, is that I will be here to testify that "The Lord will indeed give what is good" and that this marriage will yield its harvest.


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  • 4 responses to “H.O.P.E.”

    1. Anonymous says:

      hey hun, u dont know me but i knw u frm uni days. i'm happy u finally found christ and rededicated ur life to him. whatever u are going thru right now i speak peace into it, God bless

    2. Rin says:

      I know I'm late to this, but just wanted to say 'great post'. I love Hebrews 13:5 – so much so that I have it tattooed on my back. I got it after my husband left and today, as I prepare to remarry, I can safely say that even in the darkest times, God has never left or forsaken me – and He has even brought me through to happier times. Life can seem a little pointless sometimes (I have regular 'Ecclesiastes moments') but ultimately our purpose is to love, to glorify God, and to live life as best we can, and if we're doing that then we're doing as much as we can xxx

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