Dear 31-year-old Me…


Are we okay? Did we make it?

We had a tough 2014 didn't we? But at least it was better than 2013. Do you remember? The year we seriously wondered what life would look like without us in it. By default that means 2015 could only have gotten better, and I really hope it has!

As I write this I'm considering our past year. Highlighted by our epic 30th birthday celebrations at a private members' club in central London and dogged by the halting progress of the divorce we never wanted. The Bible sums up completely how we felt about it in Malachi 2:16, "To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty." Do you remember that pain? Like we might drown in our own sadness? I hope not. I hope that memory has been long erased and that we are finally able to truly realise every cliche thrown at us in our moments of despair: 'There is always light at the end of the tunnel', 'Every cloud has a silver lining', 'Everything happens for a reason"  and even the biblical, "Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning" (Psalm 30:5). Sad people make others uncomfortable. I hope we've thrown off sadness and have embraced joy and peace.

I didn't want to set goals for us in 2015. We've dealt with enough pressure already. I just want us to live; fully and wholly and to embrace the life we have while we still have it. This is what Jesus died for, that we might, "have life and have it more abundantly." (John 10:10) But on reflection how has that moulded us? Are we less judgemental? More daring? Less self-conscious? Have we managed to stop swearing? To shake off that short attention span when it comes to relationships? And most importantly, do we still have a large capacity to love? Don't let that go, future me. Above all else, love.

What do our friendships look like? Have we managed to let go of those toxic relationships and nurtured those that bring positivity into our life? Have we let go of the pain of betrayal? (If not, please do! Life is too short to worry about what has already happened and what cannot and will not change.)

So many questions...we always were cut out for journalism! But even if you can only answer positively to some of them (while others may remain permanantly on our 'To Do List') and even if we have done things we are not proud of; we still made it! If at the end of 2015 we still have breath and hope then from one Me to another, I want you to know, I'm so proud of us. Well done!

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  • 2 responses to “Dear 31-year-old Me…”

    1. Anonymous says:

      What if we're better than ok?
      That's the answer I got when I asked myself that simple but not so easy question. What if we're better than ok? And when we're not ok, what if that's ok?

      I remain both a fan and a cheerleader in your corner

    2. Anonymous says:

      Deep. Real. Incisively honest. Forward thinking.

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